Page 131 - Islam In Focus

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Adoption is also out of the question, because Islam ordains that every child must be
called by his real father’ s name, and if the name is unknown, he must be called a
brother in faith (Qur’ an, 33:4-5). This, of course, does not mean that a child who has
no known father or supporter should suffer deprivation or lack of care. Far from it. It
means that adoption as practiced today is not the way to give that child secure and
prosperous life. No one can really and fully substitute for the actual father and mother.
The daily course of events, the complicated procedures and cases in courts, and the
disputes between families attest that adoption never solves a problem. How many
cases are there in courts today where the real parents are demanding the return of their
children who have been adopted by strange families and introduced to different
environments? How long can a normal mother or father see his child in a strange
home? How far can they trust artificial parents to bring up their child in the proper
way and give him due care? How will the child himself feel when he grows up to find
that his real parents gave him away and that he has had artificial parenthood? How
will he react when he discovers that his real parents are unknown, or that his mother
gave him up because of fear or poverty or shame or insecurity? How much is the
adopted child liked by other members of the adopting family? Do they like a strange
child to take their name and inherit the properties to which they are potential heirs?
How will the breeders feel when the real parents demand the return of their child, or
when the child himself wishes to join his original parents? Many complications are
involved. The institution is no doubt unhealthy and may cause much harm to the
child, to the parents, artificial and real, to other relations of the adopting family, and
to society at large. Adoption is one of the major reasons that encourage many people
to indulge in irresponsible activities and intimacies. It is being commercialized
nowadays. There are some people who put up their children for “ sale” or trade as the
news media show. That is not in the African or Asian jungles; it is right here in
Canada and America. Because of all that, Islam does not accept the institution or
tolerate its practice among Muslims ( See Qur’ an, 33:4-6)
With these three alternatives, discarded for the reasons mentioned, Islam offers its
own solution. It permits a man in such a situation to remarry, to satisfy his natural
needs and at the same time maintain his childless wife, who probably needs him now
more than at any other time. This is, again, a permission, a course that a desperate
man may take, instead of adoption or divorce or unnatural suppression of his
aspirations. It is another instance where remarriage is the best feasible choice, another
way out of a difficult situation to help people to live a normal and secure life in every
3. There are cases and times where the wife is incapable of fulfilling her marital
obligations. She may fail to be as pleasant a companion as she should be or even as
she would like to be. She may be in a state where she cannot give the husband all the
affection, satisfaction and attention he deserves and desires. All this can and does
actually happen. It is not always the wife’ s fault; it may be nature itself. It may be a
long illness, or a period of confinement, or some of the regular periods. Here, again,
not all men can endure or exercise self-control or adopt an angelic manner of
behavior. Some men do fall into the pit of immorality, deception, hypocrisy and
infidelity. There are actual cases where some husbands fall in passionate love with
their sisters-in-law or their babysitters or housekeepers who come to look after the
family during the illness of the wife or the period of confinement. It has happened
many times that while the wives were undergoing the difficult operations of delivery