Page 410 - Riyad-us-Saliheen

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Chapter 153
The Ruling of crying and wailing over a Dead Person
Wailing is unanimously forbidden (Haram) as will be mentioned later on. There are some Ahadith which forbid us
from crying over somebody's death, and which inform us that the dead will be tormented in their graves as a result
of their relatives crying over their death. This prohibition applies only to those cases where crying is accompanied
with lamenting and wailing. Weeping without these two is, permissible; and the Ahadith in support of this are many,
including the following:
925 -
ﺪѧﺒﻋ ﻪѧﻌﻣو ،ةدﺎѧﺒﻋ ﻦѧﺑ ﺪﻌѧﺳ دﺎѧﻋ ﻢﻠѧﺳو ﻪѧﻴﻠﻋ ﷲا ﻰﻠѧﺻ ﷲا لﻮﺳر نأ ﺎﻤﻬﻨﻋ ﷲا ﻲﺿر ﺮﻤﻋ ﻦﺑا ﻦﻋ
ﷲا ﻰﻠѧﺻ ﷲا لﻮѧﺳر ﻰѧﻜﺒﻓ ،ﻢﻬﻨѧﻋ ﷲا ﻲѧﺿر دﻮﻌﺴﻣ ﻦﺑ ﷲا ﺪﺒﻋو ،صﺎﻗو ﻲﺑأ ﻦﺑ ﺪﻌﺳو ،فﻮﻋ ﻦﺑ ﻦﻤﺣﺮﻟا
ﻮѧﺳر ءﺎѧﻜﺑ مﻮѧﻘﻟا ىأر ﺎѧﻤﻠﻓ ،ﻢﻠѧﺳو ﻪﻴﻠﻋ
لﺎѧﻘﻓ ؛اﻮѧﻜﺑ ،ﻢﻠѧﺳو ﻪѧﻴﻠﻋ ﷲا ﻰﻠѧﺻ ﷲا ل
: »
ﻻ ﷲا نإ ؟نﻮﻌﻤѧﺴﺗ ﻻأ
ﻢﺣﺮﻳ وأ اﺬﻬﺑ بﺬﻌﻳ ﻦﻜﻟو ،ﺐﻠﻘﻟا نﺰﺤﺑ ﻻو ،ﻦﻴﻌﻟا ﻊﻣﺪﺑ بﺬﻌﻳ
ﻪﻧﺎﺴﻟ ﻰﻟإ رﺎﺷأو
ﻪﻴﻠﻋ ﻖﻔﺘﻣ
Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) visited Sa`d bin
`Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by `Abdur-Rahman bin `Auf, Sa`d bin Abu Waqqas and `Abdullah
bin Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with them). The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) began to weep. When his
Companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He (PBUH) said,
"Do you not hear, Allah does not punish for
the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but punishes or bestows mercy for the utterances of this (and he
pointed to his tongue).''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Under the stress of grief, man becomes heavy-hearted and tears flow out from his eyes. This is
something natural and beyond human control. Rather the outflow of tears results from Divine compassion. This is
neither forbidden nor subject to accountability. It is only wailing which is Haram, and is punishable. Yet, man is
blessed with Divine mercy if he gives expression to patience and gratefulness by his tongue. Moreover, to mention
the merits and excellence of a departed soul is in itself a good thing because others may be stimulated to adopt them.
But to recount them by way of wailing is disliked. A Hadith says that a dead person is tormented because of the
weeping of his household. Here weeping means lamenting and wailing. Otherwise, to weep is human instinct and no
curbs can be put over it. Besides, this warning is meant for such a person who might have been accustomed to
wailing during his lifetime. Or he might have left a will to his family for wailing over his death. May be he
consciously avoided giving a predeath warning to his kith and kin against wailing. In all the three situations, he will
be equally held accountable with his soul being tormented for the wailing of his relatives. In case, he is uninvolved
in any of the situations, he will remain free from hellish torments. Instead the wailers will have to bear the brunt of
their sin. As the Qur'an says,
"No one laden with burdens can bear another's burden.''
Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A grandson (child of the daughter) of the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was presented to him while the child was at his last breath. Tears began to flow from
the eyes of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). Sa`d said to him: "What is this, O Messenger of Allah?'
"It is mercy which Allah has placed in the hearts of his salves. Allah bestows His Mercy on the merciful among
His slaves.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
927 -
ﻪѧﻨﻋ ﷲا ﻲѧﺿر ﻢﻴهاﺮѧﺑإ ﻪѧﻨﺑا ﻰﻠﻋ ﻞﺧد ﻢﻠﺳو ﻪﻴﻠﻋ ﷲا ﻰﻠﺻ ﷲا لﻮﺳر نأ ﻪﻨﻋ ﷲا ﻲﺿر ﺲﻧأ ﻦﻋو
نﺎﻓرﺬѧﺗ ﻢﻠѧﺳو ﻪѧﻴﻠﻋ ﷲا ﻰﻠѧﺻ ﷲا لﻮѧﺳر ﺎѧﻨﻴﻋ ﺖѧﻠﻌﺠﻓ ﻪѧﺴﻔﻨﺑ دﻮﺠﻳ ﻮهو
فﻮѧﻋ ﻦѧﺑ ﻦﻤﺣﺮѧﻟا ﺪѧﺒﻋ ﻪѧﻟ لﺎѧﻘﻓ
؟ﷲا لﻮﺳر ﺎﻳ ﺖﻧأو
! لﺎﻘﻓ : »
فﻮﻋ ﻦﺑا ﺎﻳ
ﺔﻤﺣر ﺎﻬﻧإ
لﺎѧﻘﻓ ،ىﺮﺧﺄﺑ ﺎﻬﻌﺒﺗأ ﻢﺛ
: »
ﺐѧﻠﻘﻟاو ﻊﻣﺪѧﺗ ﻦﻴѧﻌﻟا نإ
نﻮѧѧﻧوﺰﺤﻤﻟ ﻢﻴهاﺮѧѧﺑإ ﺎѧѧﻳ ﻚѧѧﻗاﺮﻔﺑ ﺎѧѧﻧإو ،ﺎѧѧﻨﺑر ﻲѧѧﺿﺮﻳ ﺎѧѧﻣ ﻻإ لﻮѧѧﻘﻧ ﻻو ،نﺰѧѧﺤﻳ
« .
ﻢﻠѧѧﺴﻣ ىورو يرﺎѧѧﺨﺒﻟا ﻩاور
ﻢﻠﻋأ ﷲاو ةرﻮﻬﺸﻣ ﺢﻴﺤﺼﻟا ﻲﻓ ةﺮﻴﺜآ بﺎﺒﻟا ﻲﻓ ﺚﻳدﺎﺣﻷاو
Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) came to his son Ibrahim
(May Allah be pleased with him) when he was breathing his last. The eyes of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) began
shedding tears. `Abdur-Rahman bin `Auf (May Allah be pleased with him) said, "O Messenger of Allah, you too
weep?'' He (PBUH) said,
"O Ibn `Auf! It is mercy.''
Then he began to weep and said, "
The eyes are shedding tears
and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Rubb. O Ibrahim! Indeed we are grieved by
your departure.''
The death of the Prophet's son, Ibrahim, born of Miriyah (May Allah be pleased with her) had
occurred in the tenth year of Hijra. The Ahadith clearly prove that weeping over a loved one's death is permissible.
But it should be void of wailing.