The Islamic Bulletin Volume XXII No. 27 Page 13 5. Read. There is nothing like living vicariously through the lives of someone on paper. Books and stories transport us to the past, hurtle us into the future, or keep us in the here and now. Books open up whole new worlds for us. We are inspired, shaken, moved, amused, angered, heartbroken. There is nothing else quite like it. Read for fun, read for education, read for knowledge, read for the thrill of it. Just READ! 6. Learn something new. Now that we’ve put away the computer, what do we do with all this free time that’s suddenly sprung up? Why not start learning Arabic, or memorizing the Quran? Do it, girl! And when you’re done, teach the rest of us! 7. Help someone else. More often than not, we look to others who have more than us as a barometer for our situation in life. Why not look to those who are not as well off? By helping them, you will truly appreciate how fortunate you are and it will insha Allah change your whole outlook on life. 8. Be grateful. Give thanks to Allah (SWT) for everything you have. Most of us have all the faculties of seeing, hearing, taste, touch and speech. We have roofs over our heads, food to eat, and a comfortable bed to sleep in. We have educational and vocational opportunities, we have clean water to drink, we have peace of mind when we leave our homes that we will not be shot at or bombed. We have so much to be thankful for, alhamdulillah. 9. Keep yourself busy, and DON’T GIVE UP! Nothing like idle time to start a pity party. Your daily routine should not allow for time to mope about and feel sorry for yourself. Yes, you’re overweight, yes, that paper is due tonight, and yes, gas is still approaching what you’d like your GPA to look like. The latter you can’t do anything about (except try to drive as little as possible…there’s an idea!) but as for the other options, you CAN change your habits. Don’t give up. With patience and perseverance you can attain your goals. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. When you’re feeling emotional or overwhelmed, instead of reaching for those Goldfish crackers, take a deep breath. Sit down, or lay down. Think about what’s really bothering you. Ask Allah (SWT) for guidance and patience. Catalog the steps you need to take to eliminate or deal with the stressor, and then methodically go about doing it. Don’t hesitate, don’t wait for a better time, don’t procrastinate, jump up and do it! 10. Treat yourself with respect. “You have probably noticed that the lady of your acquaintance who thinks of herself as a duchess may cause a good many laughs, but usually, in the main, is treated like a duchess–in so far, at least, as her friends know how a duchess should be treated. It is equally true that it is the lady who expects orchids who gets them, while you and I are pinning on a single gardenia.” Marjorie Hillis may have penned this 73 years ago, but every word still applies today. :In order to gain respect, we must act in a way deserving of it! So enough with the self-deprecation, enough with the human garbage disposal act if there is leftover food, enough with thinking we are unworthy of love or appreciation or attention. We ARE worth it. Our bodies and minds are a trust given to us by Allah (SWT) and we should treat ourselves as something precious to be treasured. Let us let only the finest, most wholesome food pass through our lips; engage ourselves in thought-provoking and positive pastimes; avoid vain talk; maintain positive, cheerful attitudes that uplift those around us, and cherish the time that Allah (SWT) has given us on this earth. 11. If you don’t love it, don’t buy it. Well, MAYBE if I lose a few more pounds/kilograms, this might fit… NO. Just, NO. Stop right there sister. If you don’t positively, absolutely love it, don’t buy it. It’s just that simple. Don’t project into the future, don’t buy clothes that MIGHT look good on you only IF you lose weight, just don’t do it. Buy clothes that fit the body you have now. And if you’ve been holding onto those jeans you fit into in high school or college, be realistic. If you know deep down that you may never fit into them again, give them away. If you think you might fit back into them without your legs looking like sausage links…go for it. Keep a pair or two to celebrate your victory in. But please don’t keep your entire jean collection from way back when. Does anyone really want to see those clothes again? As for workout clothes, “modest” is not synonymous with “crappy.” You can still workout in modest clothes that look nice and make you feel good about yourself. Many clothing stores have nice loose workout pants and long shirts or hoodies. Check the clearance racks, especially now with the start of summer. You’ll find a lot of nice, long-sleeved shirts and pants. Add a coordinating hijab and you’re good to go! 12. Drink water. There is nothing more refreshing than a nice, tall glass of cool water on a hot day. Cut down or completely eliminate artificial sodas, juices, and mix drinks. They’re full of sugar and high fructose corn syrup. If you need some sugar have a piece of fruit or mix some lemon/lime juice and honey into water to make a refreshing lemonade or limonade! Keep a bottle of water with you and sip throughout the day. It keeps your body fresh and flushes toxins out of your system. Many times when you think you’re hungry, your body is actually trying to tell you it’s thirsty! So drink up! 13. Learn the power of “No.” This is a tough lesson to learn. There will always be another event, another party, another fundraiser, baby shower, wedding, halaqa, weekend seminar, online seminar, lunch date, dinner date, breakfast date, brunch date, conference call, and so on and so forth. Learn that you don’t have to attend every single one. “No” is such a simple yet loaded word. We’re so afraid of alienating and offending people we agree to do everything. On top of what we need to do, we’re overloaded by what we CHOOSE to do, many times reluctantly. When someone asks you to do/attend something that you don’t want to, politely but firmly decline. They won’t hate you. They won’t think you’re a bad human being. If they do, good riddance to them. This also goes back to the respect thing. When people see you are judicious with your time and how you spend it, their respect for you will increase. They will see you aren’t throwing yourself aimlessly at any and every social call or event that comes your way. A phrase I learned from a very wise woman is, “Ek ‘hain’, sau dookh, ek ‘na’ sau sookh.” Roughly translated this means, “With one yes, a hundred hurts, with one no, a hundred reliefs.” I’m not saying eliminate extracurricular from your life. Just choose wisely and realistically. I hope this has been helpful. This, by no means, is an exhaustive or complete list. I’m sure there are many more good points that I have failed to cover. I do hope you, dear reader, will comment with your own tips and suggestions! The inspiration for the title came from one of my counselors at college. I came to the fitness center at school while she was working out. I hadn’t seen her for some time, and I remarked on how much weight she had lost. “Shed,” she corrected me. “Shed. Because if I ‘lost weight’ it means I wanted it found on me to begin with!” If I have said anything incorrect, it is from my own ignorance and shortcomings, and if I have said anything correct it is from the grace and mercy of Allah (SWT).
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