Page 3 The Islamic Bulletin Volume XXX No. 30 I resolved to learn Arabic just to prove to him that I could. He taught me the letters and around 20 minutes later, I had them memorized. The feeling of accomplishment was incredible! When he saw that I had committed them to memory, he gave me a short list of words to learn, thinking that I could do nothing with it. I really do not blame him for feeling that way – I know that I would have felt the same way about me. After learning the word list, I needed another way to study Arabic. Little did I know that my next decision would change my life forever. On a whim (or perhaps by inspiration), I decided to ask a Muslim named Faheem for a copy of the Qur’an, Islam’s sacred Book, to aid me in my study of the Arabic language. He gave me one saying, “God-willing, you will become a Muslim.” I did not think so but I thanked him anyway. My next step was to start trying to read the Arabic in the Qur’an. As I was reading, some of the injunctions and stories in the scripture caught my attention. They touched me in a way that is hard to describe, and after a few months of studying, I told Faheem that I was thinking about becoming a Muslim. He encouraged me and gave me a lot of advice. In my studies, I reflected upon the actions of Yaqub, Wadi, and Kareem. These were three brothers who had endured the brutality and hopelessness of prison life for decades and still held their heads up high with the knowledge that all things are in the hands of Allah. No matter what man tried to do to them, they maintained their faith in the doctrine that there is no might or power except the Power of the One True God, Allah. And so it was, with these thoughts in my head, that I continued my journey. The final piece fell in place on a Friday night. The next morning I was supposed to pick up a package of illegal contraband that I had been waiting for. As I sat in my housing area that night, I decided that I would read from the Qur’an. As I opened the Book, the words of a particular verse jumped out at me: Surah 3, verse 103, which reads, “And you were on the brink of a pit of fire, then He saved you from it, thus does Allah make clear to you His communications that you may follow the right way.” These words shook my very soul such that I decided not to go to my meeting the next morning. The next day, I found out that the person who I was supposed to meet had been apprehended. I was so taken aback by this that I did something that I had not done since my youth: I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness of my sins and bad conduct; I prayed for guidance and mercy from the God I had turned my back on. I decided then and there that I wanted to dedicate my life to doing good and pleasing God. When I took this good news to Faheem, he sat me down and asked me if I was resolved on my decision. When I told him yes, he began to educate me on the basic beliefs and teachings of Islam. When other Muslims saw this, some encouraged me while others, familiar with my ways, told the brothers that they were wasting their time. I would not be denied, however. As I learned the Prayer, a whole new world opened up to me that I had never seen before. In this world was peace, contentment, and most importantly, a sense of completeness. The lessons that I was learning about Tawheed (Unity and Oneness of God) touched my soul. By the Grace of Allah, and with the help of the Muslims that were in the cellblock with me, I learned very quickly. I was ready to take my Shahadah (public declaration of faith), but I still had one piece of unfinished business: I needed to disassociate myself from my gang. By that time, I had a lot of rank and influence in my organization so I thought that there would be no problem with me walking away. I thought wrong . They say that with knowledge comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes accountability. As such, people wanted me to be held accountable for my actions, so they came up with a plan to take me out. I had decided to call a meeting of the other leaders of my organization to let them know what it was that I was doing and why. I owed no one an explanation, but I wanted to be up front with them in order to make a clean break. I was oblivious to their plotting against me, thus I naively went to the recreation yard to meet them. Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah 3, verse 55: “And they planned and Allah (also) planned, and Allah is the best of planners.” During the meeting, certain inmates who were trying to get rank within the organization proposed that I should be beaten and/or killed. This was all discussed while I was present! I was outraged but not shocked. Many people in prison look at Islam like it is just another gang. Thus, to the spiritually-blinded eyes of many of my former gang mates, I was changing my loyalty from one gang to another. There was one man, however, who understood the difference. His name was Willie, and he was as wild as they come. Thus, imagine my shock when he said the following words: “How can we even sit here talking about doing something to this brother just because he wants to give his life to God.” He went on to remind the members of the meeting about all of the things that I had done to help many of my fellow gang members. In the end, they recognized the truth of his words and decided to leave me unharmed. Years later, some of the same brothers would embrace Islam in much the same way that I did. Allah touches the hearts of men in ways that we do not perceive. It is only later that we comprehend and recognize the wonderful plan of the Creator. The next night, I declared my Shahadah in front of all of the community that was present at the Islamic teaching service. I can not express the feelings of love and joy that I felt when I publicly declared my belief. While I had been saying my Shahadah in my ritual prayer for weeks, it was not the same. It felt like a massive burden had been lifted off of my back. For the first time in my life, I was truly free. It was like I had been born again – returned to the natural state of my
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