Page 132 - Riyad-us-Saliheen

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Then he (PBUH) admonished them against laughing at another's passing of wind, saying,
"Why does any of you
laugh at another doing what he does himself"
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Although Islam has permitted man, in inevitable circumstances, to rebuke his wife, it has also
suggested a very wise course for it. It has suggested that first of all he should advise and preach her, and if she does
not mend her ways by these means, then he should stop sleeping with her, which is a great warning for the sensible
wife. If she does not improve even by this method, then he may take recourse to slight beating, but in that he must
avoid her head and face. He should take recourse to beating if he thinks that it would work, otherwise it is better to
avoid it. But surprisingly enough some start the process of reformation with beating and that too with great
ruthlessness which has not been permitted by Islam in any case. It is this aspect which the Prophet (PBUH) has
highlighted in this Hadith. He has contended that when the wife is indispensable for man and it is very difficult for
him to pass night without her then why should he beat her like a slave or bondmaid? He should try to understand
that she, too, has feelings and her position is like one of the two wheels of the cart of life. If at all it comes to beating
her then he must keep her true status in view before taking recourse to it. He should never loose sight of her
importance in conjugal life.
لﺎﻗ ﻪﻨﻋ ﻪﱠﻠﻟا ﻲﺿر ةﺮﻳﺮه ﻲﺑأ ﻦﻋو
ﻢﱠﻠَﺳو ِﻪْﻴَﻠَﻋ ُﷲا ﻰّﻠَﺻ ﻪﱠﻠﻟا لﻮﺳر لﺎﻗ
ًﺔَﻨِﻣْﺆُﻣ ٌﻦِﻣْﺆُﻣ ْكَﺮْﻔَﻳ ﻻ
َﺮَﺧﺁ ﺎﻬْﻨِﻣ َﻲِﺿر ًﺎﻘﻠُﺧ ﺎﻬﻨِﻣ ﻩِﺮَآ ْنِإ
َلﺎَﻗ ْوَأ
» ُﻩَﺮْﻴﻏ «
ﻢﻠﺴﻣ ﻩاور
ُﻪُﻟﻮﻗو : »
ﻩﺎﻨﻌﻣ ِءﺎﻔﻟا ِنﺎﻜﺳِإو ِءﺎﻴﻟا ِﺢﺘﻔﺑ ﻮه
ُلﺎَﻘﻳ ، ُ
ﺎَﻬَآِﺮَﻓو ، ﺎَﻬَﺟْوَز ُةَأْﺮﻤﻟا ِﺖَآﺮَﻓ
ﺎَﻬﺤﺘﻔﺑ ﺎﻬُآﺮﻔﻳ ، ِءاﺮﻟا ﺮﺴﻜﺑ ، ﺎﻬُﺟْوَز
: ْيَأ
ﻢﻠﻋأ ﻪﱠﻠﻟاو ، ﺎَﻬﻀﻐﺑَأ
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
"A believer must
not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another".
This Hadith also contains a very wise counsel for a happy married life. It tells us that every person
has certain good qualities as well as some shortcomings. Man has been advised here to overlook the shortcomings
that he does not like in his wife and appreciate her good qualities. Similarly, a woman is advised to ignore the
shortcomings of her husband and admire his good qualities.
ِﺔﱢﺠَﺣ ﻲﻓ ﻢﱠﻠَﺳو ِﻪْﻴَﻠَﻋ ُﷲا ﻰّﻠَﺻ ﻲﺒﻨﻟا َﻊِﻤﺳ ُﻪﱠﻧَأ ﻪﻨﻋ ﻪﱠﻠﻟا ﻲﺿر ﱢﻲﻤﺸُﺠﻟا ِ
صَﻮْﺣَﻷا ِﻦﺑ وﺮْﻤَﻋ ﻦﻋو
لﺎﻗ ﱠﻢُﺛ ، َﻆﻋوو ﺮﱠآذو ِﻪْﻴَﻠﻋ ﻰَﻨﺛَأَو ، ﻰﻟﺎﻌﺗ ﻪﱠﻠﻟا َﺪِﻤَﺣ ْنَأ ﺪﻌﺑ ُلﻮُﻘﻳ عادَﻮْﻟا
، ًاﺮْﻴَﺧ ِءﺎﺴﱢﻨﻟﺎِﺑ اﻮﺻْﻮَﺘْﺳاو ﻻَأ
َﻓ ْنِﺈﻓ ، ٍﺔﻨﱢﻴﺒُﻣ ٍﺔﺸﺣﺎَﻔِﺑ َﻦﻴِﺗْﺄﻳ ْنَأ ﱠﻻِإ َﻚِﻟذ َﺮْﻴﻏ ًﺎﺌْﻴَﺷ ﱠﻦُﻬْﻨِﻣ َنﻮُﻜﻠْﻤﺗ ﺲْﻴَﻟ ْﻢُآَﺪْﻨَﻋ ٍناﻮَﻋ ﱠﻦُه ﺎَﻤ
ﱠﻦُهوﺮُﺠْهﺎَﻓ َﻦْﻠﻌ
ِإ ﻻَأ ، ﻼﻴﺒﺳ ﱠﻦِﻬْﻴَﻠَﻋ اﻮُﻐْﺒﺗ ﻼَﻓ ْﻢُﻜَﻨﻌﻃَأ ْنِﺈﻓ ، ٍحﱢﺮﺒُﻣ ﺮْﻴﻏ ًﺎﺑْﺮَﺿ ﱠﻦهﻮُﺑﺮْﺿاو ، ِﻊﺟﺎَﻀﻤﻟا ﻲﻓ
ْﻢُﻜِﺋﺎﺴِﻧ ﻰَﻠَﻋ ْﻢُﻜَﻟ ﱠن
ُﺑ ﻲﻓ ﱠنَذْﺄﻳ ﻻَو ، َنﻮهﺮْﻜَﺗ ْﻦﻣ ْﻢﻜﺷُﺮُﻓ َﻦْﺌِﻃﻮُﻳ ﻻ نَأ ﱠﻦﻬْﻴَﻠَﻋ ْﻢُﻜﱡﻘَﺤَﻓ ،ﺎﻘﺣ ْﻢُﻜْﻴَﻠَﻋ ْﻢُﻜِﺋﺎﺴِﻨِﻟو ، ﺎﻘَﺣ
ﻦﻤِﻟ ْﻢﻜﺗﻮُﻴ
ﱠﻦﻬﻣﺎﻌﻃَو ﱠﻦِﻬِﺗﻮْﺴِآ ﻲﻓ ﱠﻦﻬْﻴﻟِإ اﻮُﻨﺴْﺤُﺗ نَأ ْﻢُﻜْﻴَﻠَﻋ ﱠﻦُﻬﱡﻘﺣو ﻻَأ ، َنﻮهﺮْﻜﺗ
لﺎﻗو ىﺬﻣﺮﺘﻟا ﻩاور
ٌﺢﻴﺤﺻ ﻦﺴﺣ ﺚﻳﺪﺣ
ﻢﱠﻠَﺳو ِﻪْﻴَﻠَﻋ ُﷲا ﻰّﻠَﺻ ﻪﻟﻮﻗ
« ْيَأ
، ُةَﺮﻴِﺳَﻷا ﻰهو ، ِﺔَﻠَﻤْﻬُﻤﻟا ِﻦْﻴَﻌْﻟﺎِﺑ ، ٍﺔﻴِﻧﺎﻋ ُﻊْﻤﺟ ، ٌتاَﺮﻴِﺳَأ
ُﺧُد ﻲﻓ َةَأْﺮﻤﻟا ﻢﱠﻠَﺳو ِﻪْﻴَﻠَﻋ ُﷲا ﻰّﻠَﺻ ﻪﱠﻠﻟا لﻮﺳر َﻪﱠﺒَﺷ
ِﺮﻴﺳَﻷﺎﺑ ِجْوﱠﺰﻟا ﻢْﻜُﺣ َﺖْﺤﺗ ﺎَﻬَﻟﻮ
ُحﱢﺮﺒُﻤﻟا ُبْﺮﻀﻟاو
« :
ﻢﱠﻠَﺳو ِﻪْﻴَﻠَﻋ ُﷲا ﻰّﻠَﺻ ﻪﻟﻮﻗو ، ُﺪﻳﺪﺸﻟا ﱡقﺎﱠﺸﻟا َﻮُه
ًﻼﻴِﺒَﺳ ﱠﻦِﻬْﻴَﻠَﻋ اﻮُﻐْﺒَﺗ ﻼَﻓ
« ْيَأ
ﻢﻠﻋأ ﻪﱠﻠﻟاو ،ِﻪِﺑ ﱠﻦﻬﻧوذﺆُﺗَو ﱠﻦِﻬْﻴَﻠَﻋ ِﻪِﺑ َنﻮﱡﺠﺘْﺤﺗ ًﺎﻘﻳِﺮﻃ اﻮﺒُﻠﻄَﺗ ﻻ
`Amr bin Al-Ahwas Al-Jushami (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that he had heard the Prophet
(PBUH) saying on his Farewell Pilgrimage, after praising and glorifying Allah and admonishing people,
women kindly, they are like captives in your hands; you do not owe anything else from them. In case they are guilty
of open indecency, then do not share their beds and beat them lightly but if they return to obedience, do not have
recourse to anything else against them. You have rights over your wives and they have their rights over you. Your
right is that they shall not permit anyone you dislike to enter your home, and their right is that you should treat them
well in the matter of food and clothing".
1. Here again we find justificat
ion for beating one's wife in case of her persistence in default, but it is to be done in the manner prescribed in the
Hadith quoted above.
2. It is the responsibility of the wife that during the absence of her husband, besides the guarding of her own
chastity, and property of her husband, she should not let in anyone who is not liked by her husband, however closely
related that person be to her.
3. It is the responsibility of the husband to provide, according to his means, good food and clothes to his wife.